In pursuit of happiness
Being happy is a choice, albeit not an easy one. In these trying times it is even harder. Happy is a feeling of joy, pleasure, or good fortune - an enjoyable or satisfied state of being1. When you are happy and you know it then you can clap your hands or stomp your feet or do whatever else you deem appropriate for the occasion. But, how do we get there?
Research shows that experiencing flow at regular intervals leads to happiness. “Flow is being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz.”2 Flow is the optimal state of inner experience. “The optimal state of inner experience is one in which there is order in consciousness. This happens when psychic energy — or attention — is invested in realistic goals, and when skills match the opportunities for action. The pursuit of a goal brings order in awareness because a person must concentrate attention on the task at hand and momentarily forget everything else.”2
So we are happier if we are getting regular flow experiences. To get a flow experience we have to have order in our consciousness; we need to have total concentration. As Mihaly puts it “The mark of a person who is in control of consciousness is the ability to focus attention at will, to be oblivious to distractions, to concentrate for as long as it takes to achieve a goal, and not longer. And the person who can do this usually enjoys the normal course of everyday life.”2
The ability to focus attention at will does not come easy. We have to practice it and gradually get better at it. As we get better at it, we can end up having more regular flow experience. Having regular flow experience would mean we will be more happy.
Various forms of worship have one thing in common; they offer a way to practice and hone the skills of focusing attention at will. Take yoga (a form of hindu worship), church services or 5 daily salats (prayers in islam). They all need you to focus. So if you worship as it is supposed to be done, you will get better at focusing attention at will.
Two things that hinder our ability to focus attention at will are fear of future and sadness/resentment of past events. You may be sad and/or angry at not getting that bonus or promotion you thought you deserved. You may be afraid of losing your job as the economy is tanking due to coronavirus. Its not that all fear/sadness is bad. Some of it is healthy and necessary to drive our everyday life. Its only a problem when it starts to consume you like a scarcity trap3.
Gratitude comes to rescue. Gratitude is “The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.”4 In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships5.
Gratitude helps us overcome fear, sadness and resentment. A research study found that gratitude letter writing produces better mental health by shifting one’s attention away from toxic emotions, such as resentment and envy. When you write about how grateful you are to others and how much other people have blessed your life, it might become considerably harder for you to ruminate on your negative experiences6.
So to summarize, gratitude helps with fear and sadness. With that in check, we can practice to focus attention at will by regular worship. As we get better at focusing attention, we get more regular flow experience. And there we have it, happiness. This is as close as we can get to a recipe for a happy life. It all starts with choosing gratitude. Being happy is indeed a choice.
Stay happy and be safe.